Almost every famous person at least once in their life said something that was remembered by the society, and considered meaningful, important or just funny. Those quotations can be mentioned in various situations. Often they are used in speeches or in a humorous way. In order to find some of them grub around.
Steven wright
Date: March 25, 2008
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.
When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.
I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes.
I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people who live above me are furious!
Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture.
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed.
Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for awhile I was a suspect.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
I have the worlds largest seashell collection. You may have seen it, I keep it spread out on beaches all over the world.
They say the sun never sets over the British Empire, but it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?